do you always dress like such a slut?

Heh.  This is funny.  I was checking trackbacks to my blog (yes, I do that), and I saw this comment by the lovely Lily over at Rivelino’s blog:

I’m not sure if it is just in the bedroom for sex or whether that’s her style all the time. She did say she lives in California though so it’s not like she lives in Manhattan. Style seems a bit Vegasy though which if memory serves me rightly is in Nevada not CA though close enough. As I said, may just be a bedroom thing. I like her though, she’s funny.

I just think this is awesome and hysterical.  That said, of course I don’t dress like that all the time.  Obviously.  I thought this would have been obvious, but I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, here’s what I do wear on a day-to-day basis (everything pictured is something from my closet):

Jeans

7 For All Mankind ‘Roxanne’ Skinny Jeans | $178

Jeans are totally the staple of my closet.  I love jeans.  Jeans forever!  Team denim!  You get my point.  I love jeans because they’re cute, practical, and easy to wear.  Also, they allow me to do things like climb trees, race motorcycles, and play football.  My favorite jeans: Seven, Armani, and Abercrombie.

T-shirts

Go Make Noise Double V-Neck Tee | $29

Yes, I’m not big on shirts that require a lot of work to put on.  And by “a lot of work,” I mean anything with a button, a zipper, or a clasp.  These things annoy me.  T-shirts are amazing.  My favorite brands: I like all t-shirts.  I don’t discriminate.

Short Skirts

A&F Blythe Skirt | $58

I wear mini-skirts, but they’re not mini-stripper-skirts.  I only wear skirts that can be worn with sneakers or flip-flops.

Sneakers

Skechers Shape-Ups Toners | $80

I’ve recently fallen in love with Sketchers Shape-Ups — not because they tone my calves (as far as I can tell, they don’t do this), but because they’re sparkly.

Other Footwear

Havaianas ‘Slim’ Flip Flop | $24

In the winter, I wear boots and skinny jeans, instead of sneakers (never wear sneakers with skinny jeans, unless they’re Chuck Taylors and you’re a hipster!  Even then, don’t do it!).  In the summer, I usually wear flip-flops (Havaianas, to be exact).  I sometimes wear wedges, and I rarely wear heels unless I’m “going somewhere.”

Big, Obnoxious Sunglasses

Dior ‘Classic 1’ Oversized Square Sunglasses | $275

The boy says I look like a bug.  I say, “Why you hate bugs?”

The Occasional Dress

Herve Leger | $1350

Sometimes I go all out and don a dress in a non-going-somewhere-context.  Usually short, but occasionally long.  I do love Herve Leger.

outfit inspiration: white

My husband loves white slutty clothes.  Not because they’re slutty so much, but because they’re white.  (And if you’re wondering, yes, he did love my glittery, pearl- and rhinestone-embellished ballgown of a wedding dress.)

Adorable Bride Outfit, $82.95 | Dreamgirl White Jacquard Reversible Corset, $56.95 | 3 Piece Peasant Top Skirt Set, $32.95

White Bridal Corset and Skirt Set, $68.95 | Strapless Gown with Sequin Mesh Waterfall Skirt, $107.95 | Tube Dress With Large Chrome Sequins, $65.95

Sexy Chiffon Veil with Satin Headband, $14.01 | BodyZone Goddess of Resurrection Lace Tri-Top Set, $19.95 | Lace Top Thigh High Bridal Stockings, $8.95

Solid Pleated Skirt with Side Zippers, $26.95 | Tattoo Skirt, $21.95 | Hanky Panky ‘I Do’ Low-Rise Thong, $32

Aldo ‘Gutenberg’, $75 | Pleaser Thigh High Exotic Dancer Boots, $75.99 | Pleaser White 6-inch Ankle Strap Platform Stripper Shoes, $33.24

porn star makeup 101: running mascara

Her makeup is messed up, but she's still hot.

If you watch enough deep throat porn, you’ll notice that a lot of the girls end up with mascara dripping down their faces.  Guys who like gagging usually like tears — the good kind, of course.  However, if you wear contacts (like yours truly), it’s hard to let the tears run free without a little pain — mascara in your eye can halt the sexy pretty fast.  For both of you, that is — he’s not going to want to continue if you’re cringing and trying to blink eye makeup out of your cornea.

So here’s a tip for girls with sensitive eyes — wear two coats of waterproof mascara and a third very light coat of regular mascara on your bottom lashes only.  This way, when you start tearing up, you’ll still get a sexy porn star running mascara look — without all the pain and cringing.

Hot.

Another photo, courtesy of Lubrax.

outfit inspiration: pink & black

Outfit inspiration for those of you who aren’t sure what to wear with what.

A sexy trick: wear thigh-high stockings that have some sort of backseam detail (such as a bow at the top) under thigh-high boots.  The bows will peek out, just over the top of the boots — hot!!

1. Sexy Hot Pink Fantasy Platform Stocking Boot, $75.99, Electrique Boutique | 2. Pink Bow Back Lace Stockings, $14.95, 3Wishes.com | 3. Sexy Hot Pink Tie Back Cowl Exotic Dancer Top, $14.99, UpscaleStripper.com | 4.  Wet Look Booty Shorts, $15.99, ODGirl.com | 5. Industrial Net Long Sleeves Mini Dress w/G-String, $10.95, Yandy.com | 6. Hot Pink Elbow-Length Temptress Gloves, $9.88, Amazon.com | 7. Striped Bra & G-String, $19.95,  Yandy.com